Fixer Mentality
Great article from Ozzie (who I call "the Ox") about how a problem-solving mentality is bad for you.
Wim
Labels: inner game, positivity, problem-solving
Humility
Got an epiphany today...
I cannot deny I have made amazing progress with myself, but despite that still I am prone to bouts of anxiety. Being the (recovering) perfectionist that I am, this bothers me. Especially those that come without observable reason irk me incessantly. I try not to worry about it, to disidentify with it like you to with bad weather or being sick -- yes it happens to you, it's not fun, but it's a fact of life, it will pass and it's reallt not so bad -- and this works. Up to certain level.
Of course I also just feel good without any external reasons. And for the people who haven't had that feeling, it's a feeling of frolicking free like a child, with in your stomach the sensation of being in love with yourself, life, existence itself. I still believe it should be possible to have this more frequeltly, if only because I know severeal people who claim this experience, and because I know how to get out, but sometimes I just can't escape from the maze of my own mind.
(Live update: LOL, while today really was not up to snuff, suddenly I have that feeling right now! Ha, I should start writing again more often, it's such an amazing tool to focus yourself.)
Today I was trudging through some fora after having a few really down days after a really up day, and suddenly a new viewing angle sprung up. Now I consider it extremely important to take pride in yourself, to be selfish, to live large, to aim for extreme dreams and to always consider that this life is maybe the only one you live here so now and here is the time you have to live it, instead of just killing time till time kills you. And yes, at this point in my life I consider myself my own highest end, and I succesfully worked my ass of fulfilling many many of my life goals. Throughout the last years my aim always soared higher, and with that my dreams, my self-esteem and my happiness too.
So what's the epiphany? That the opposite side is equally benefactory!
Humility.
This is quite counter-intuitive for me. Humility is living small. It is the mindset that you still fail, you still cry over silly things, you still have dark egoic habits, you can still laugh at a stupid fart joke, you're just this little guy... and you're perfectly content with that. Don't misunderstand this, it's not breaking yourself down, it's not altruism, it's not low self-esteem... quite the opposite. It also generates strong feelings of happiness. I think this is because it is acceptance. It is also a way of removing ego, but it works on a different palette.
While greatness (re)moves the upper boundary for your happiness, humility seems to (re)move the lower boundary. A beautiful symmetry so of course I immediately like it :) My mind tells me it should be a contradiction, but I can't find any.... The two coexist perfectly.
And with these boundaries removed, so much more space to simply beautifully be is opened up. In my mind's eye I envision it as such: most humans exist crampedly in a tunnel. Rock above them, rock below them. I removed the ceiling by aspiring greatness and pride, opening up my living space to include the vast sky above. Humility then, is taking away the remaining floor, so you end up as if flying through the air.
All this is just from half a day of reflection. I'm going to incorporate this principle in my life and see what it brings me.
Wim
I cannot deny I have made amazing progress with myself, but despite that still I am prone to bouts of anxiety. Being the (recovering) perfectionist that I am, this bothers me. Especially those that come without observable reason irk me incessantly. I try not to worry about it, to disidentify with it like you to with bad weather or being sick -- yes it happens to you, it's not fun, but it's a fact of life, it will pass and it's reallt not so bad -- and this works. Up to certain level.
Of course I also just feel good without any external reasons. And for the people who haven't had that feeling, it's a feeling of frolicking free like a child, with in your stomach the sensation of being in love with yourself, life, existence itself. I still believe it should be possible to have this more frequeltly, if only because I know severeal people who claim this experience, and because I know how to get out, but sometimes I just can't escape from the maze of my own mind.
(Live update: LOL, while today really was not up to snuff, suddenly I have that feeling right now! Ha, I should start writing again more often, it's such an amazing tool to focus yourself.)
Today I was trudging through some fora after having a few really down days after a really up day, and suddenly a new viewing angle sprung up. Now I consider it extremely important to take pride in yourself, to be selfish, to live large, to aim for extreme dreams and to always consider that this life is maybe the only one you live here so now and here is the time you have to live it, instead of just killing time till time kills you. And yes, at this point in my life I consider myself my own highest end, and I succesfully worked my ass of fulfilling many many of my life goals. Throughout the last years my aim always soared higher, and with that my dreams, my self-esteem and my happiness too.
So what's the epiphany? That the opposite side is equally benefactory!
Humility.
This is quite counter-intuitive for me. Humility is living small. It is the mindset that you still fail, you still cry over silly things, you still have dark egoic habits, you can still laugh at a stupid fart joke, you're just this little guy... and you're perfectly content with that. Don't misunderstand this, it's not breaking yourself down, it's not altruism, it's not low self-esteem... quite the opposite. It also generates strong feelings of happiness. I think this is because it is acceptance. It is also a way of removing ego, but it works on a different palette.
While greatness (re)moves the upper boundary for your happiness, humility seems to (re)move the lower boundary. A beautiful symmetry so of course I immediately like it :) My mind tells me it should be a contradiction, but I can't find any.... The two coexist perfectly.
And with these boundaries removed, so much more space to simply beautifully be is opened up. In my mind's eye I envision it as such: most humans exist crampedly in a tunnel. Rock above them, rock below them. I removed the ceiling by aspiring greatness and pride, opening up my living space to include the vast sky above. Humility then, is taking away the remaining floor, so you end up as if flying through the air.
All this is just from half a day of reflection. I'm going to incorporate this principle in my life and see what it brings me.
Wim
Labels: ego, greatness, humility, inner game, pride